Ambitions

Everybody has a dream, everybody has aspirations. Not everybody will attain these dreams and this was something that Fred knew and had already come to terms with. He was in no ways pessimistic or listless about the fact but he was acquiescent with knowing that many of the things he wants, he will never have.

This went beyond mere dreams and glittery goals but permeated his general outlook on many aspects of life. This passive acceptance is generally viewed as being negative and showing a lack of ambition. This was also not exactly true because Fred was very ambitious, on a task-orientated level. He was not the sort of person to aim at having a mansion, although if one came along at the price of a garden shed he’d snap it up like a twig in the drought. He was more of a pragmatist – if he needed to replace his furniture or upgrade his car, he’d do it, but wouldn’t go out of his way to get the best of the rest. Neither would he save up for a couple of months to get the couches that would have kept him up into the early hours of each morning. Unlike the vast majority of the population, he was quite content with his way of life, but his perceived ambitionless persona was beginning to become a burden.

It is a well known belief that people, women in particular, are attracted to successful people, or at least those that show some sort of ambition in life. Not the sort that he possessed, but the deranged motivation that drives people into becoming workaholics, lifestyle whores, trend zombies, and sheeple of accomplishment in general – even if that accomplishment is advancing from the crappy house in the crappy part of the neighborhood to the bearable house, in the same crappy neighborhood. He was pretty much in a rut even if he did develop a need to become largely ambitious, because he still wouldn’t feel the need to display it to everybody that glances over his way.

This was bad news for the man whose life is ruled by women because they would not be able to see him for the great dreamer that he is, or could be. All that they can see is an unmotivated, apathetic happy-go-lucky loser stuck in a monotonous routine. Fred needed to fix this, but he didn’t know how. He was going to come up with a plan.

The solution hit him like an alcoholic’s fist onto an innocent woman’s face. Fred’s newfound ambition was to become ambitious. He had no idea how this way going to play out, or how he’d even get it right, but he knew that the only way to be noticed by women and not be brushed off as a droopy will-never-be is to exude as much ambition as an over-zealous graduate’s cologne during his first interview. Fred just had to figure out exactly how much cologne to put on, he didn’t want to scare the interviewer off – maybe she was one of those people with a highly sensitive nose.